Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize