I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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