I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Are my feet made of real feet?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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