one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
i out mim tonsoeep
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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