And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
