Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
