I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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