Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Your penis caused this!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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