wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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