You're completely useless in the revolution.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Terrible idea I love it
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
