I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
