I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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