She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
