she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
