You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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