Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
