So drunk its hurt
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
