ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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