Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
