So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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