well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
