bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
