Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
