Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
