The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
