I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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