Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
