i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
