Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize