his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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