Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
