I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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