Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
