Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Pooping to opera.
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