what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
