I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
