This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
