i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
