and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
