he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
