I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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