Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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