Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
