he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
