Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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