the condom got lost in my hair
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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