I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
