I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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