If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
MIDGETS
????
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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