I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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