Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize