I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize