Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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