is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
