he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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