oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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