And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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