I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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