but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Is it penis luge time yet?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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