I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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