Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
