Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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