Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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