I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize