they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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