Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
