Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Green mimosas i think yes
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
