And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
