she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
