Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
