so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
